the new term for farting is butt boxing.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
