Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
