Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
