You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I am one with the molecules
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
