I think i peed on brittanys purse
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
