i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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