I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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