the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
