Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize