once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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