you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
