it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
