On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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