I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
