just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
