You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
no, he came in my armpit
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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