So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
