im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
