You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
