john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
