you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
