So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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