stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
