What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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