So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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