Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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