she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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