Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
