I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
