new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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