Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
