I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
