Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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