Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
