I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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