I'm drive I can fine osifer
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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