i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
