my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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