were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
