Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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