jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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