Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
