Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
