You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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