Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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