I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Randomize
