oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
