He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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