Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
