WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
