what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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