North Korea, Best Korea!
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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