Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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