Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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